I am in the middle of a firing squad and in this case, I am actually the one holding one of the guns. it is weird because for months I have been anxiously awaiting this moment and anxiously awaiting to hold the trigger. This time I kinda have permission to - but I CAN'T SEEM TO PULL it off..Why? For some weird reason I can't seem to answer that question. I am human (I think - although some might say I am the devil that can't afford the Prada) - but after reading my fiancee's blog about the rat race - it has triggered me to actually gain some confidence in pulling the trigger of this gun. Knowing that people sometime unconsciously manipulate things by using other people's empathy or sypathy is now very pathetic to me - so why care, right - For me it boils down to PURPOSE...
What DO I want my PURPOSE to be? Do I want to be the scary creature in other people's lives? Do I want to be the sweet innocent person that just smiles and let things slide or Do I become the realist that let's people forget their dreams ... their dreams of becoming the best manipulators of the world.
I only want my purpose to be "LOVE". I know it's a huge word but Love (to me) only means that I honestly think of the other perso unconditionally without having to compromise my own beliefs. Now I know this is confusing because most think that you can't LOVE both self and other at any given time. Now think about this though - If you LOVE and someone loves you back (the same way you love) wouldn't it be unnecessary to Love yourself (meaning selfishly; you know the type that says " Me first") if someone is already LOVING you unconditionally?
My point is - being in a firing squad is just part of the daily rambles I have to participate in so that I can get through the day to end with the person that holds my purpose. Look it is not Juan that gives me purpose but he definitely makes it seamless for me to actualize mi real purpose. Bebebooobooot - Thanks for the unconditional love and understanding - you let me remember what matters most and what are just distractions in the midst of my path. You are my third eye and the beneficiary of my heart. WubWooo
2 comments:
I didn't intend for you to pull the trigger. But it's your call and it's your choice. Thanks for making me love you more and more...wubwoo to eternity...
i haven't but now I understand why if I have to - I should. there are people who WANT work and would give everything for it - and there are the one who has work - yet they just go and throw it away.
wub wooo
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